Statisticians, statisticians...

Three statisticians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first statistician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second statistician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third statistician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "On the average we got it!"

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
Attributed by Mark Twain to Benjamin Disraeli

Logic is a systematic method for getting the wrong conclusion with confidence. Statistics is a systematic method for getting the wrong conclusion with 95% confidence.

In God we trust. All others must bring data.
Robert Hayden, Plymouth State College

Surgery

- Patient: "Will I survive this risky operation?"

- Surgeon: "Yes, I'm absolutely sure that you will survive the operation."

- Patient: "How can you be so sure?"

- Surgeon: "9 out of 10 patients die in this operation, and yesterday died my ninth patient."