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Issue 2001-4 - Wednesday, March 7, 2001

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Committee Rules

  • Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.

  • Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.

  • Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the others.

  • When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.

  • Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular - it's what everyone is waiting for.


A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

Oldest profession in the world

A physician, a civil engineer, and a consultant were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world.

The physician remarked, "Well, in the Bible, it says that God created Eve from a rib taken out of Adam. This clearly required surgery, and so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world."

The civil engineer interrupted, and said, "But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong: mine is the oldest profession in the world".

The consultant leaned back in his chair, smiled and then said confidently, "Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?"


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